Interview with model Rachel Alexandra Marterre

The first thing you notice about Rachel Alexandra Marterre, once you get past her beauty and grace, is her amazing personality.  She has that kind of friendly, engaging demeanor that makes you want to know more about her and makes you feel at ease in her presence.  I met with Rachel during lunch at Plant Cafe Organic on the Embarcadero in San Francisco.  Despite it being a rainy, windy day, she looked stylish and put together.  I found her to be very articulate and intelligent.  She's on a fast track in the SF modeling scene, so look out for her!

MG:  What were you doing before you started modeling?

Rachel:  I was pre-med in college, but I decided I didn't want to go to med school pretty late in the game, right around the time when everyone was applying.  If I could do it again, I would study something other than biology, but I did the whole pre-med thing, organic chemistry, anatomy, and sociology.  My background in pre-med helped me and I'm really glad I did it.  If I go back to school, I want to study studio art or a language.  I have a lot of different interests that I didn't have the time to explore because there's not a lot of freedom in electives with pre-med requirements.  So, I would probably go back and study French more or take a couple of art classes.  I could be a perpetual student, if it wasn't for the tests and papers.  

     I went through all those pre-med courses and right around the time when my friends were sending in applications to medical schools, I had this second thought, "Is this really what I want to do?"  I then started looking at Eastern practices for healing the mind and body.  I thought, "This preventative medicine makes so much more sense to me."  It actually helped me realize that I didn't want to go the traditional allopathic route.  I really got into yoga and I was noticing changes in my own body that I was able to make by going to a yoga class, becoming mindful and paying attention to my breath.  It was incredible.  I think a lot of power has been taken out of the patient's hands in the Western approach to medicine.  I think that's really wrong.  Nobody knows your body better than you, and we have lost touch with that.  We're not in tune with our bodies and what we need.  We put all of our trust in somebody who studied books for four or five years and has taken strenuous tests.  Ultimately, they can't feel what I'm feeling. 

MG:  The well being is so important.  A lot of hospitals will just give you a quick fix and get you out the door.

Rachel:  Unfortunately, a lot of that falls into pharmaceutical means of "curing" problems by covering it up with a pill.  I wouldn't call that a healing process.  It's not a permanent solution.  It's like "OK, get out of my office.  Here's a prescription for whatever."

MG:  Having a healthy lifestyle and a core group of great friends is important.

Rachel:  I moved out here 6 months ago and have slowly built up my base of friends.  Jonah is my cousin's the son.  The reason why I moved out here is because my cousin needed a nanny.  So I came to move in with them and watch Jonah.  He's about 20 months old.

MG:  How did you get into modeling so quickly?  I heard you have only been modeling for several months, yet you're in a lot of the major fashion events within San Francisco.

Rachel:  I love fashion.  It's always been a guilty pleasure of mine and I didn't take it seriously because I boxed myself into being this studious, academic type that was headed to med school and didn't have time for such superficial, frivalous things like fashion.  But I always still watched the shows when I could, like Project Runway and America's Next Top Model.

MG:  Were you always secretly wanting to be a model?

Rachel:  Oh yeah, absolutely.  But I never allowed myself that because of what I thought it was.

MG:  Did people say that you should be modeling?

Rachel:  Yeah, I got that a lot, but as often as I did "Oh, do you play basketball?"  It's because I'm tall.  I never really pursued modeling until Christmas break.  A friend of mine, a clothing designer on the East Coast, was trying to get into the local fashion week and the night that I was spending with her happened to be the same night as a fashion event.  It was basically a portfolio night where people in the industry were networking. The organizers and director for Fashion Week in Charlotte, North Carolina were attending the event and she said "I kinda want to go.  Should we go?"  I said "Absolutely!"  She grabbed her portfolio and printed out business cards.  We went and everyone there was really excited about her stuff and they said "Oh, are you a model?" Before I could even open my mouth, my friend Elizabeth said "Oh yeah, she's my model exclusively and if you want her to walk in Charlotte Fashion Week, you're going to have to have me as one of the designers."  So they were like, "Oh, OK, yeah."  I was like "nice!"
     So we got into fashion week and had to update our portfolios.  The director wanted to meet with her again and see pictures of her new stuff.  Well, she didn't have any pictures of her new stuff.  It had been 2 years since she had photographs taken of her new designs.  So I said "Elizabeth, you need to get all of your dresses together and my sister and I are going to model them for you. I'll get my friend who is a photographer, Graham, to take the pictures and it'll be great."  We took pictures in the downtown area of the small city that we're from in North Carolina called Winston Salem.  We went out for two hours and she added the photographs to her portfolio.  She said "You should check out modeling in SF" and I thought, "you know this photo shoot was really fun, so I think I'm going to."

     At the time, I was already going to some of the fashion events in San Francisco.  I had found San Francisco and Merchant's Alliance (SFFAMA) on Meetup.com, so I was going to Fashion Feud and other events.  Owen Geronimo, the founder of SFFAMA, sent out an email on Meetup.com for an open model call and I responded.  It was for a Trunk & Swap event, modeling the designs from Linzel Couture and CIG WITZ clothing.  So I did that show and met a lot of people and made connections with other designers, photographers and other runway shows.  It just really bloomed from there.  I haven't signed up with any agency yet, but that's the next step.
     You can be an independent model, but you're not made aware of as many opportunities.  A lot of the friends I've made in fashion through modeling have gone with agencies.  The ones who have signed are getting more work in other places.  They'll be flown to NY or LA.  They get to work with more professional photographers and bigger name designers.  So if that's what you're interested in, being signed would be the route to go.

MG:  Have you thought about which agency you would like to sign with?

Rachel:  My friends have told me to go into Look Model Agency.  They said Ford is closing their SF office.  There's a few others if those don't work out.  I figure I'll go to the two highest rated ones, if it doesn't work out, maybe it wasn't meant to be and I'll be doing what I'm currently doing.  But if it does work out, that would be great too.  It would be nice to get paid a little bit for what I'm doing, not that I really do it for the money.  I model more for the opportunity to meet different artists - the clothing designers, the photographers, the make-up artists, the hair stylists, the stylists.  They're all expressing themselves in a way, that you as a model, get to bring to life and that's what's fun for me.  I enjoy being the muse for all these artists and making a connection with the clothing designers and photographers.  I would like to be used by them, more and more, and get to know them better with possibly having an influence on the direction of where their art goes.  It's very exciting.  It involves finding your own art and expressing other people's art.  That's why I do it. 

MG:  What have you heard from people on what your modeling strengths are?

Rachel:  I think mainly that I am a quick learner. So even throughout the short time that I'm shooting with a photographer, I'll pick up on how they're directing me to get a sense of what they want and I'm able to provide that quicker without reminders.  I can take direction and I can intuitively feel what their desired results are and help bring that to fruition.  So that, and a lot of people tell me I have a unique look.

MG:  You do stand out and you have a great elegance that works well with the camera.

Rachel:  It's almost like you become aware of the space between you and the lens and understand how to follow the lens.  You learn your best angles and you learn how where they're standing is going to represent what you're wearing and your body language.  It's being able to follow that and its almost like building muscle memory, so that you aren't thinking so much about it and you're just feeling it.  I think the more you let go, the better modeling you do, because it's just a little bit more natural and not forced.  It's more of a feeling type of thing rather than a thinking thing.  It depends on how comfortable you are.  If you're not comfortable, you're going to over think things.  You're going to think "I need to remember to have the right facial expression, the right body shape, show off the clothes and elongate the neck, but maybe hunch a little, watch the angle of the face, etc."  You can come off mechanical or stiff and the camera can read it in your eyes.  You're not present, you're stuck in your head.

MG:  Has that ever happened to you?

Rachel:  It has.  It's really sort of the nerves of not knowing someone very well or what they want.  I think the most challenging time I had was when I was working with a student photographer, Antonio Velez.  Overall, it really wasn't that bad.  He had very specific idea for what he wanted his photograph to look like and I was having to jump in heels to achieve that look.  He would be like "One, two, three, jump!  No, that's not it.  Remember the face.  One, two, three, jump!  OK, remember to show off the clothes.  One, two, three, jump!" and I was literally jumping for like 10 to 15 times a minute in heels.  I was like, "OK dude.  Give me a minute to just breathe and clear my head."

MG:  Was no jump right?

Rachel:  Even if I got the jump right, I wasn't placed correctly on the set, so I had to make sure I started at a certain position.  Also, it was so fast paced because he kind of just got stuck behind the lens, "No that's not it, again, etc."  I was like, just give me some time to reset and try again.  I felt like a monkey or something.  We did get some good shots and I think he was happy.  But it really just took me calming down and clearing my mind and going with what I felt was right because if you're trying to contort your body in a certain way that makes you uncomfortable, it's going to read in the picture.  So he wanted my legs a certain way, like one leg in front of the other and it wasn't making sense to me to leap and turn that way, so I decided that I was going to do what feels a little bit more natural and do it my way.
     As soon as I kind of owned that and said this is what I'm going to do and tried it, he was like "Oh yeah, that's a good one.  Let's do that."  After the good shot, I said "Yeah, I felt like it was kind of odd angling my body this way so I thought I would try that." and he said "Oh yeah, let's go with that."  It's nice to work with people that are flexible who will say "Yeah, let's take this direction because that one wasn't working out."  I learned a lot from that experience and he was really sweet and the pictures turned out very interesting.  I like the look of them.  I think we both really got something out of it.  But it was tough.

MG:  How long did that photo shoot and jumping take?
Rachel:  It was an hour of shooting because we were on a time crunch.  And when you're already in heels, you're already as lifted as your feet will life you.  So it's a totally different type of jumping.  People were asking me if I was afraid I was going to twist my ankle.  I was like "Nope, I can land in heels."  The problem was more the lifting because you're already lifted four or five inches from the ground.  So you're really just jumping on the balls of your feet.  It's kind of odd.  You don't get as much air as you'd expect.

MG:  That's a sign of a good model if you're able to give input to a photographer on what works.

Rachel:  What are we going to do?  Waste our time and try to force something?  I don't believe in forcing things.  I work better in an organic environment where we feel things out and let them play themselves out a little bit more naturally.  Even the awkward poses you see in high-fashion, even those aren't that awkward.  For example sometimes we find ourselves just naturally hunched over.  Even the ones that can seem contorted and strange aren't that forced.  I think you just have to be open to the concept of whatever it is you are trying to create and the image.  If you can understand what they're trying to achieve, and try to add what you can, I think that's what really creates a good picture.  That goes for runway modeling too.  Your walk, your posing - it's all just feeling out what the designer wants and figuring out how you as a model, like a chosen canvas, can add something to that.  It's a lot more stimulating than a lot of people realize.

     It's not just about being pretty.  I feel like those reality model TV shows don't show what it's really about.  They tend to focus on the drama.  It's more about being intuitive and being in your body.  It's being in tune with your body and your surroundings and going with the flow and adding in your creativity when you can.  That's what I mean by stimulating energy, and getting in touch with that really helps you as a model.  At least as a female model, I really don't know what a male model goes through.  Last weekend I was at a shoot where I had to look masculine and I realized I don't know how to model like a man.  Everything was coming out too feminine.  I had no idea how to model like a man, so I was trying to strut and get into that mindset.  I would set my brow and jaw a little bit different.  It was like being in a whole different body.  It did work, but I think I need a couple more tries to make it believable.  It was a fun shoot and the photographer was helpful.  He would tell me if I was still reading feminine.  I can do the really pretty angles and the elegant look.  The stern, cocky, aggressive look is pretty different than what is typically requested for a female model.

MG:  It's great for your portfolio to have that kind of range because not a lot of women can carry that off.

Rachel:  Right, and I figure so long as I have the short hair, I can rock both looks easily and I would like to learn more about having an androgynous look.  A lot the way I dress sometimes can be androgynous and there's an appeal of that sexlessness in fashion.  That's a look I want to bring to my portfolio.  I have a lot of room for improvement.  I learned a lot from that shoot.  I try not to forget anything.  Even if it seemed like a bad experience with the photographer or designer, I figure out what I can learn from it. You can always find that you can learn something with every experience that you've had.  Even if it's what not to do, you learn something.  That's what modeling is about, being very receptive, taking it all in, and using your own judgement as to what to retain and use or let go.

MG:  What are those challenges in modeling?

Rachel:  I think you can choose to take criticism or preferences too personally.  For example, a designer might say, "I prefer blonde models."  Are you going to take that personally?  Am I going to run to the hairstylist and dye my hair and get extensions to be exactly what they want?  Well the options are, I can put on a wig or I can look for someone else who has a different idea of what they want.  Basically, people can be just too soft in the sense that they're really sensitive to what a designer or a photographer wants, and if they don't fit that exact model then they take it personally and they feel like they need to change themselves and sort of sell out.  My solution is to not sell out, but to be true to myself and find people who want to work with me for me, because they do exist.  There's room for everybody - every skin color, every hair type.  You'll find your niche, especially in SF where there's a variety of esthetics.
     You will find your niche.  Don't sell out.  Be true to yourself and that's the way to stay happy and to stay fulfilled.  You'll really gain confidence versus losing yourself and self-confidence.  If not, someone else will own your confidence.  I also try not to put value in anything that's temporary or that can be changed or lost or gained.  I think those attachments are where we get a lot of our suffering from.  It's like, "I'm attached to my beautiful skin."  Well, what happens when your hormones get a little crazy and you have a problem with acne or rosacea or, heaven forbid, something happens to your face and you become disfigured, cut or burned?  If you're attached to the way it looks now and that brings you happiness, then that could change and so will your happiness.  Instead, have happiness.  Be more in a state of mind that's unaffected by things that can change because the one true constant in this world is change.  So if you're not OK with change, you're not going to be OK with something that is happening in your life.  Life is about change and evolution.  I choose to really appreciate change and see it as a progression and opportunity.  That's definitely an element in modeling and it can become a concern if your only ideas of what you can gain are at a superficial level.  If it's at a deeper level, then it's different.  I can't speak for everyone, but that's my approach.

MG:  I saw a news special on a model in Paris who became anorexic to achieve a desired modeling weight.  She had gotten too wrapped up in what other people wanted.  She did get modeling jobs once she became skinny, but it led to the detriment of her health.

Rachel:  It not only affects your physical health, but emotional and mental state as well.  It's really a form of self-hatred.  It's really sad, but I think a lot of people get lost in that.  I think there's a difference between that and a denial of the self in order to promote someone else's vision.  I think that can get unhealthy too if the muse-artist relationship is out of balance.  That model in Paris was just really broken down psychologically and that's going to manifest physically.  And yeah, you get these superficial highs of being booked and getting all these job offers, but that's not fulfilling.  At the end of the day, what's important is that you love yourself,  you're true to yourself and that you're healthy.  Or have you become a doormat, almost, for people to walk all over you and not treat you with the respect you deserve.  And that's all for a few more ad campaigns or runway shows?  That's up to the individual to decide, but if it was my personal decision, I'd rather be true to myself and be fulfilled in myself.  But, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a struggle.  Even for me.  It's always going to be important for me to be mindful of the expectations of models.

MG:  How old were you when you first got interested in fashion?

Rachel:  When I was really young, I was making clothes for my Barbies and cutting their hair.  My sister and I, in our preteen age, were really into Mary Kate & Ashley and followed their trends.  I think I've always had an eye for fashion.  I'm an artist.  I do a lot of drawing and painting.  I think I have this understanding of texture and color and combining them.  That's always translated into the way that I dress and the way I appreciate how other people dress.  I can't pinpoint an age, but as far as back as I can remember, I've had an interest in clothes and expressing myself through my wardrobe and my hairstyle.

MG:  When did the interest in modeling develop?

Rachel:  It wasn't until college that I reached the six foot mark.  I didn't really think about modeling until college, when I started to think about it as a possibility.  I always heard that you have to at least be 5'7", and in High School I was that tall.  I was more into sports and I didn't really think about it much.  I still had a personal style, but I wasn't into fashion then.  I didn't subscribe to magazines or keep tabs on what was current and hip, outside of the trends I saw on people around me.  I started getting interested in modeling when I started watching America's Next Top Model, which was my freshman year of college.  That's when I got into it and the idea of it.  However, I didn't really pursue modeling until about 2 to 3 months ago.  Since then, it has been so rewarding and I have met so many people.  If I was in NY,  I would probably feel like a little fish in a big pond.  Here you have a greater opportunity to be a big fish in a small pond.  It's a small circle, but I like that about it.  I like knowing people and getting to know them at a more intimate level.

MG:  Would you ever consider modeling for a specific brand?

Rachel:  If I really believe in the brand and what they are doing, I would.  But that's trickier for me because I choose to live a lifestyle that is a little more conscious and aware.  I'm keenly aware of injustices and exploitation.  There's not that many companies out there that I would really stand behind 100%.

MG:  I remember working with a factory in Southern China that would recruit people from Northern China.  The people were provided a great domitory to live in, but the fact was, a lot of them were away from their spouses and children for months.  They would eventually return to their family during a factory break, to visit and give them money, but they would return back to the factory and repeat the process all over again.  It's not a balanced lifestyle by American standards.

Rachel:  It's heartbreaking.  That extends for me to all living beings.  I don't really support the fur industry or the leather industry.  It's not even just for the sake of animals.  If you've read anything about the tanning industry for leather and the communities that are built around those facilities, you'll find out those people are experiencing health problems as a consequence.  Those are harsh chemicals.  A lot of friends think I'm pretty far down the rabbit hole, but I'm happy down in my rabbit hole learning more and more about what's going on.
     I'm a truth seeker.  I want to know what's going on and be OK with it.  I don't know if a lot of large corporations can really truly stand by things that I would want to back up.  So that's why I have really appreciated the more intimate relationships with a clothing designer or photographer because I know exactly what they are doing and I can support them as much as I can.  I just recently met a clothing designer, Danielle Pettee, whose dresses are amazing.  I see how much effort and work she puts into it, how resourceful she is, and how much she cares.

MG:  It's good to be conscious of who you're working with.  What's great about California is that there are a lot of eco-conscious companies.  There is opportunity to be selective with who you want to work with.

Rachel:  That's why I love the West Coast.  It's a very progressive place to be, especially the Bay Area.  I really have been thriving here since I moved.  I've been on a very conscience, spiritual path over the past year.  I really have been wanting to get to know myself better and understand (and this may sound cheesy but) the meaning of life.  What is it?  If you're not living every day for that, then why are you living?  I think we're here for a reason and there's gold to be mined from every experience that we have.  Sometimes it's a lot harder to see than other times.

MG:  Especially if you're in a challenging situation.

Rachel:  Absolutely, and my advice for people in that situation is to change your focus and look for what it is you have to be grateful for.  When you really start seeing what you have to be grateful for, you have the opportunity to receive blessings, which you may have been denying yourself before.  I think that begins to build your self-confidence again, because it's like "The universe isn't conspiring against me, the universe is conspiring for me and it's doing all these things and presenting me with all these opportunities.  I need to pay it back and make something of it."  You gain self-love and confidence and begin to allow yourself to see the light at the end of the tunnel, when you change your perspective.
     I'm not saying to put up with an abusive situation, but start to own and take charge of your life.  This is your life.  It's not anybody else's life.  It's time for you to be fulfilled.  In order to realize that, gratitude really takes you there.  I think it was William Blake who said "Gratitude is heaven itself."  That's one of my favorite quotes.  It makes not enough into more than enough.  It's all about your perspective.  So try changing your perspective.  You have to try everything.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.  If you're getting the same results from the same interactions, attitude and mindset, then maybe change that.  Then you can expect to change.  I think some people are constantly pointing fingers and expecting other people to change, while thinking that when those people change, they'll be happy.  They're missing out.  There isn't one person who doesn't have something to be grateful for, even if it's just being alive.
     Another thing that's important is to remember that giving of yourself is more rewarding than what the other person is receiving.  That takes a lot of strength.  True wealth is being able to give.  You'll start to understand your own value and the value you can bring to others.

MG:  Who is a part of your beauty team?

Rachel:  I shop at thrift stores.  I haven't bought anything new in a long time.  It's probably been years.  I always go for clean organically, vegan, cruelty-free makeup.  I make my own beauty products, such as face scrubs.  I use only pure organic oils in my hair and mineral makeup.  If I could bring all that with me to shows and shoots, I would love it.  Normally they use MAC cosmetics or heavy chemical ridden stuff that I'd rather not put on my body.  However, I know how to work with it.  I'll make sure to be totally moisturized before I go in there, so my skin isn't soaking up the make-up because it's already saturated.  Then I'm able to remove it without it soaking into my skin so much.  There's even an energy about it that I don't want to absorb.  If I ever get to the point where I can bring my own beauty squad and I get to say "I want to use these cosmetics and these hair products and still achieve the same results you're looking for" that would be great.  I haven't developed that, but that's in the works.

MG:  What are you wearing right now?

Rachel:  This top I got at a vintage store, which is too large, so I put a belt around it.  These are Paper Denim & Cloth jeans, which I turned into skinny jeans.  They were water legs, which I didn't like.  These boots I got at Urban Outfitters in the $15 bin four years ago.  This jacket I got at the East Bay Depot for Creative Reuse in Berkeley.  It was on the $5 rack.  I changed it so it fits asymmetrical. 

MG:  What are your favorite items in your wardrobe?

Rachel:  That changes a lot.  My wardrobe has a huge variety of styles, brands, colors and textures.  And I hold onto stuff forever.  I still think I have some shirts that I've held onto since middle school.  I think, even though it's not a wardrobe item, my favorite item is my sewing machine, because I can alter anything that I already have, depending on my seamstress skills.  I like to create something that I would wear if it's not currently in a state I would wear it in.  I alter a lot of the stuff I get from the thrift store and I love doing that.  I understand the way clothes translates from the hanger to the body.  That is a strength of mine that I've always had.  I always had this innate style and confidence.  You should never leave the door without having confidence in what you're wearing and who you are.  You're going to rock it.  Another philosophy of mine is that it's better to be overdressed than underdressed.  Always, always, always, always.  You never know who you're going to meet or run into.

MG:  Do you find modeling similar to acting?

Rachel:  Absolutely.  I was talking to my cousin about all this and he's like "I don't understand how you're so interested in fashion.  I really need to talk to you about this and understand what you love about it, because it seems like my understanding of the fashion industry has always been sort of this superficial understanding of it - shallow.  But I know that you would never do something like that for those reasons."  So we actually sat down and talked about it.  After I explained to him why I do it, he was "OK, it's kind of like acting and taking on all these different roles and being a muse."  I was like "Yeah, that's exactly what it's like."  It's more artistic than what people realize.  Just like acting, you can approach it in a way that's not at that level.  I definitely see it as acting and the more you get out of your own head, the more ease and confidence you'll have doing it.  Trust in your body and let it express what you're wearing and the concept that the designer is trying to get across.  That's where your art comes in.  Just being in tune with your body and that concept and letting it organically come together to produce your expression of it.

MG: That's important because you are making a statement.

Rachel:  Absolutely. That's what keeps it fun too.

MG: One of my favorite modeling campaings now is the NOH8.  It's a great response to the passage of Proposition 8.

Rachel:  Exactly.  What are you going to stand for?  As a muse, you do have a power of choice.  Who are you going to be a muse for?  Whose art and beliefs are you going to bring to life?  Are they fitting with your own?  That's what we all hope to achieve in finding, those people we support and want to collaborate with and who we can see a bit of ourselves in.  It's really hard to model for something you don't connect with on any level.  That hasn't really happened for me.  I can always find something about the concept, outfit or event that I could make a personal connection with.  But if I couldn't, I'm not sure I would go through with it, and that's not just for my sake.  It's for the sake of the artist.  "I don't know if you'd want me for this because I can't bring anything to the table here."  I don't mean situations where I can just learn something.  If you can't represent what's going on, it's really not fair for you or the designer to be a part of it.  Luckily, I haven't encountered any situation where I don't feel comfortable in and I haven't been asked by any designers or photographers anything that is unreasonable.  I've really been fortunate in that sense.  

MG: What has kept you motivated or excited about what you are doing?

Rachel:  I think it's gratitude.  You begin to see the value in every day things.  You begin to appreciate part of your life that you didn't think a second thought about, because you're aware of people and other living beings that don't have the same opportunities or luxuries.  Even breathing on my own.  There's people out there that can't do that.  I'm not saying that every single breath I take, I remember to appreciate it.  I remember that every once in a while and appreciate the things we easily can take for granted.  Even if its just one thing a day that you remember.  I have so many friends and family and support, I can't let myself get bogged down by the things that might not be going my way, that may not seem right.  You have to appreciate every instance for what it is, like this is your life.  You need to make the most of it because otherwise, why are you here?  So it's important to appreciate what you have and even the gifts in disguise.  Learning to see those really helps keep me motivated.  It's like looking for a teacher in everything.  That is something I learned through yoga.  Find the teacher in every situation and every instance.  Don't get bogged down by your disappointments and your frustrations, because usually those are a key to where you can be happier.  You start to look deeper and find out why you're disappointed or where it's really coming from.  Then you can find out how to really nurture yourself and be fulfilled.

For additional information on Rachel, you can visit her Model Mayhem profile at http://www.modelmayhem.com/1523910.